New Chance, New Life, New Family
by Ashimnotatree
Summary: God interfered just after the Apocalypse that wasn't and brought two of his created worlds together. Not long after Sam and Dean run into a small kid being ostracised for something that wasn't his fault and things escalate. Now the Winchesters have a God-given duty to raise a bunch of kids and make them kick ass. Angels alive, some de-aged jinchuriki.
1. Prologue

**Total AU fun time guys. And for once I'm not gonna describe where I'm trying to go with this chapter. Just expect lots of angel action (minus certain ones that I can't think of ways to redeem) and plenty of jinchuriki (eventually).**

So, after the attempted Apocalypse things kinda went weird. God interfered despite saying he wasn't going to, brought back Sam and took Lucifer and Michael out of the cage, he also resurrected Gabriel and Castiel and took all the angels back up to Heaven for a 'little talk' on exactly what they'd been doing whilst he'd been away and not supervising them.

During that time, the Winchesters became incredibly confused as new people with weird abilities, but still undeniably human, appeared out of nowhere, building their own countries and cities in the wide open spaces that weren't being used. When Cas finally responded to their prayers, all he could tell them was that his father had decided to bring two of his creations together and that the new people were not a threat. Remarkably quickly, humanity had come to accept these new people and the continent of 'Elemental Countries' was allowed to form in the bottom of the USA. The Winchesters were fairly certain that the big guy 'upstairs' had something to do with it.

Which eventually lead to Sam and Dean running into one of these towns and staying there whilst looking for a hunt. It was called 'Konoha' according to Sam and apparently meant 'Village hidden in the Leaves'. Dean had said whatever and asked where the nearest bar was. Sam had sighed and then gone with him, saying something about how a good number of citizens there were something called 'shinobi' and that meant that Dean had to be careful with the girls here 'cause there was a chance that they were a trained killer apparently.

Dean had had a fairly pleasant time getting himself drunk and Sam eventually decided he'd had enough to drink, pulling him out of the bar and dragging him back to their hotel they'd had to stay in due to the 'EC', as it was sometimes refered to, having no motels.

There was a great deal of drunken shouting and jeers up ahead and Sam stopped, cursing as he realised that taking his intoxicated brother back had just increased in difficulty. Dean for his part wasn't thinking much until he saw a flash of metal and heard the yelp of a small child being hit with something metal, heavy and blunt. Sammy heard it too; he could feel by the way his brother was tensed next to him.

Without thinking, Dean tore himself out of his brother's grip and barged up the street, shoving through the crowd. He was just in time to see a pink haired woman of middle age raise a large and sharp looking kitchen knife above a small figure lying on the ground surrounded by a spreading redness. He didn't falter; grabbing the bitch's wrist (because anyone that wanted to do that to a kid whilst still being human _was_ a bitch) he twisted it so that knife fell out of her hand. The woman stared at him in shock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she shrieked and Dean winced slightly his ears ringing from the noise.

"That's what I should be asking you lady. What kinda adults hunt down and torture a poor kid?" Dean asked, sobering at a ferocious rate in his anger.

"The woman scoffed. "That's no child. It's a fucking demon and we should have killed it from the start."  
Dean was now the one scoffing. "That ain't no demon lady, I know one when I see one."

The lady sneered. "And what would you know about demons? You filthy little-"

"Is there a problem here?" the mild voice of his younger brother sounded behind the bitch who despite having the crowd agree with her vehemently was still in Dean's grip.

The bitch turned around sneer still in place only to drop in an expression of shock as she took in exactly what was behind her.

Sam was _pissed_, no kid deserved to be treated like that. In his anger he did what he rarely did and rose to his full height, stretching out his shoulders as he did so, not disguising exactly how huge and strong he was compared to other humans for once like he normally was.

The pink haired banshee paled in fear as she took in the giant, she tore her arm free from Dean and sprinted back to the crowd where she had full support and regained her courage.

"Look at you, unnatural freaks. I bet your parents would be so ashamed of you, filthy little demon lovers!" she declared, unaware of the taboo line she had just crossed. The crowd behind her roared in approval.

Dean could see his brother freeze at the final word and felt his own muscles clench in anger at this bitch insulting his mother and father.

"Of course, they'd have to be pretty messed up to produce freaks like you. I bet your Daddy was a drunkard and your Mommy a no good whor-"

"That is enough." Silence rang through the square in shock of the new arrival that had appeared out of nowhere to place a blade at the woman's neck. He was wearing a brown trench coat with a suit on underneath.

"Hey Deano, Sasquatch. Long-time no see." Came the casual greeting from Gabriel who was leaning against the wall, lollipop in hand watching Castiel who had the woman trapped.

A blonde angel with pale blue eyes and wearing a black jacket and V-neck t-shirt gave the two a cheery wave in greeting. Joshua gave the two a nod of acknowledgement whilst Michael and Lucifer settled for glaring at them, obviously forced to come along. Raphael gave the two a resentful look only to notice for the first time the small body they were standing in front of. Uriel was standing there glaring at everyone around him, apparently God had decided to revive some of his other children in order to teach them how to behave properly as well.

The bitch and her mob predictably panicked. She turned and ran away but many of the hard core mobsters charged towards the angels and although none of the angels aside from Raphael who had an inkling knew it; the small child that Sam and Dean were still standing protectively in front of, screaming nonsense about 'demons', 'demon lovers' and 'demonic assistants'.

Naturally, the angels didn't really like being called those things and began to shove the mob around, not smiting anyone to the Winchester's confusion. In the chaos that erupted, a ninja managed to get through the crowd of angels and push past the Winchesters with a powerful sweeping kick to both their ribcages, shoving them away and knocking the wind out of them.

He kicked the small boy who was lying on the ground semi-conscious and pulled a kunai out of his pocket.

"Enough messing around. Tonight the demon truly dies!" the crazed ninja declared, sweeping the knife down towards the child to the cheers of the crowd who had stopped fighting the angels once they saw what had happened.

The kunai stopped inches from the child's chest and the rest of the crowd looked on in horror as Gabriel, the sole angel to not even move when they were insulted by being compared to demons, appeared out of nowhere gripping the man's neck and arm, expression deadly serious and eyes almost glowing with fury.

""How dare you attack a _child_. I could forgive my family and I being insulted, I could forgive you attacking my little brother's friends, but attacking a child who has far as I can tell has done nothing against you?" He began to grip the man's neck harder, his voice lowering to a growl. "Un-_fucking_-forgivable."

There was a brilliant flash of white light and when everyone's eyes recovered from the onslaught they saw Gabriel standing in front of a pile of ashes facing them, expression alight with a cold fury. "Anybody else want to try?" He asked sardonically, expression clear about exactly what fate awaited the next person to attack the boy.

The mob fled. Gabriel nodded to himself. "That's what I thought."

Sam who had regained his breath by this point, levered himself up off the ground with a grunt. "Is the kid okay?" He asked Gabriel, worried for the safety of the child.

The angels began paying attention for the first time, having been unaware of the small child before then. Aside from Dean who was still on the ground groaning from the attack and his swift recovery from intoxication (basically he was suffering from a hangover now because he sobered up so fast), every head turned towards the little body lying on the ground close to Sam and Gabriel.

Most eyes widened in shock. The boy was tiny, looking no older than three or four; he was incredibly skinny and obviously malnourished. His face was marred by six scars that normally would be just lines on his face but had been sliced open in deep cuts, there was a cut running along his forehead dripping blood down the side of his face and over his eye, his nose was broken and bleeding. He had deep slashes in his small body and several gashes and burn marks. His hair was dirty and blood stained making it impossible to make out what colour it was. His cerulean blue eyes were glassy and wide open, his mouth slightly ajar with blood leaking out of it.

In short, he looked like hell, although he would probably have been quite a beautiful child if he was actually cared for.

Sam looked back at the other angels. "Do you think one of you guys could heal him up before Gabriel decides to start a massacre in the middle of town?" he asked.

The angels looked at one another before Castiel rolled his eyes (something he definitely picked up from Sam) and walked over to the young child. Just as he was reaching down to the boy's forehead, a group of black clad shinobi in masks accompanying an elderly man in red and white robes with a matching hat appeared.

"Wait. What are you…doing…?" The man's voice trailed off as Castiel poked the boy in the forehead and healed his injuries.

The man gawked at Castiel for a few seconds before declaring that he wanted all of them to come with him if possible.

ONE EXPLANATION LATER

"I see. That is a most intriguing story." The old man, now known to them as Sarutobi Hiruzen, smoked his pipe thoughtfully.

"So old man, who's the kid and why were they treating him like that?" Gabriel asked, face still retaining some of that cold fury.

"His name is Uzumaki Naruto and as for why they were treating him like that, well that's a long story."

Gabriel snapped his fingers and created chairs for all of them and closed the door. "We've got time."

ONE MORE EXPLANATION LATER

"You did that to a newborn? Holy shit, man what were you thinking?" demanded Dean as Sam tensed in his chair reminded of his own burden.

"It was for the good of the village although regrettably not Naruto."

"Why didn't you stop it? Gotten somebody to adopt or take care of him?" Lucifer asked, more out of boredom than anything else. He wanted to get out of here and away from the humans already and if he didn't ask the question now it was inevitable that one of the others would right before they would leave.

"I tried but the council prevented any law that could benefit Naruto from passing through."

Michael frowned, "Isn't this a dictatorship? I mean, all the information says that the shinobi own the village and the Hokage is in total control of the shinobi. Any civilian here is here only because you allow them to be, right?"

There was a moment of silence as Hiruzen speculated this idea before grinning somewhat darkly. All those years of political torture at the hands of the civilian council was coming to an end.

Michael sweatdropped as the aging Hokage began to chuckle evilly, a dark gleam in his eye. "Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything..."

Lucifer sniggered, "You're kidding right? This'll be hilarious. I hope I'm there to watch when he rips them a new one."

"You would."

'What I want to know, is why use Naruto for the sealing in the first place? There must have been other children within the acceptable age limit available." Balthazar spoke up for the first time that night.

Hiruzen stopped coming up with evil plans on what to do to the civilian council and saddened considerably. "That's another long story."

YET ANOTHER EXPLANATION LATER

Gabriel let out a low whistle. "Man, this kid got fucked up by life."

Hiruzen let out a sad nod. Having reviewed everything he'd done for Naruto and hearing these beings react to them had made him slightly unsure about whether keeping Naruto in the dark about these things was wise.

"Poor kid, to know your dad sealed something like that into you." Dean commented, leaning back in his chair.

'Actually, Naruto doesn't know any of these things." The room descended into silence rapidly.

""You didn't tell him?" asked Castiel incredulously or as incredulously as an angel gets.

""No, I didn't. I thought it would be easier for him."

Dean drew in a breath to berate the aging man only to let it out again in a sigh when Sam motioned for him to not. Sam leaned forward.

"Look Sarutobi, I know you thought you were doing the right thing but the longer you wait to tell him, the more traumatised he's going to be from it. And what if he finds out from somebody other than you, like a villager? He could end up believing he's a monster and fly off the deep end and you'd never get him back. It's gonna be hard for him to deal with whenever you tell him, believe me I know. But the longer you wait the more damage it's going to do as everyday he'll wonder why he's hated and eventually start thinking he did something to deserve it. And it's only fair that you tell him who his parents were or else he might end up thinking that they didn't love or want him. Even worse, he'll have an empty spot in his life where he'd put his parents and he wouldn't know how to deal with that gap. Not to mention that if he finds out you kept the information from him, he could well end up hating you."

Hiruzen's eyes widened, he'd never thought about it from that point of view. He didn't want the boy who was the closest thing to a grandson he had hating him.

"I will think on this. If you would come back tomorrow, I'll share my decision with you."

After the other occupants of the room had filed out, Sarutobi sat and puffed on his pipe thoughtfully, ruminating not only on the conversation about Naruto but about the story the foreigners had told him. From the sounds of it, Sam had gone through something similar to Naruto. Demonic taint, a struggle to prove oneself against derisions of people who should be supporting you. Yes, the two were certainly similar although Sam had had Dean growing up.

Sarutobi thought about it a little more, the two men were from the country outside the Elemental Countries and could probably hold their own in a fight. Dean seemed gruff and rough around the edges but dedicated to doing the right thing and protective in his own manner. Sam, if he was honest with himself, was everything he hoped Naruto would grow up to be. Having the tall man in the office had been like having Minato back again.

Kind, intelligent, talented, caring, considerate of the other people, determined, extremely capable and dangerous in a fight, willing to stop and help people that needed help, hardworking and empathetic. And the fact that he knew what it was like to deal with a burden like Naruto's made him even more valuable. Those factors coupled with Michael's observation seeded the plans for tomorrow in his mind.

Sarutobi grinned an evil aura surrounding him as he cackled quietly, tomorrow was going to be a fun day for the elderly man.

All over Konoha, civilians shivered in fear and the shinobi who ever suffered at the hands of civilian ignorance *cough* D-rank missions *cough* felt like crowing in delight.

Sam and Dean felt like something was about to turn their world weird again.

The angels didn't feel anything as they were busy annoying one another in the minor apartment Gabriel had zapped up saying that if they had to come back in the morning, there was no point in leaving.


	2. Pranks, Pondering and Pestering

**You know, when reading over the last chapter I noticed something. All Castiel seems to do when healing or transporting humans is poke them in the forehead. It's just like 'poke' and something happened. It just seems a little ridiculous to me to be honest. I mean it's all like 'oh no, you're lying on the ground about to die! *Poke* You're all better now!' Obviously, the angels are ridiculously powerful and all but poke? Seriously, poking people better?**

The following morning, the Winchesters and reluctant angels went back to the Hokage tower. They were surprised to see several civilians muttering darkly under their breath and several shinobi sniggering. The reason for this was apparent as they entered the office and saw that they'd been told to come during a council meeting apparently. The bitch from last night was there, gesticulating wildly whilst the rest of the civilian council made approving rumbles whenever she stopped 'talking' only she looked slightly different.

Her hair was a dark colour, straggly and greasy. Her face was bone white and gaunt looking. Her clothes were torn rags and she seemed unable to talk any quieter than her loud shriek.

"Look at what that little demon did to me! He's a menace to our society and should be put down, the little freak! We should never have let it stay in our villa-"

"I don't see how you can blame something like this on a child, Haruno." Was the mild response from the Hokage who had been sitting there smiling cheerfully the whole morning. The civilians hadn't noticed yet but the shinobi were getting suspicious. The Hokage's advisors were beginning to feel hopeful that Hiruzen had recovered his spine and would deal with the whiny civilians and Danzo, recognising the grin from his youth with the fiery man, was uncharacteristically grinning himself.

'_Oh yes, no more mild old man act Civilian Council, today the Hokage is _back_.'_

"Couldn't you just ask the kid if he did it?" pointed out Sam.

"You! What are you doing here?" The loud mouthed woman shrieked even louder (somehow) turning to point at him.

"And how would you know me, Ms Haruno? I'm sure you had _nothing_ to do with the incident involving the child at the end of the table last night and as we only arrived shortly before that we haven't interacted with anyone that wasn't involved since arriving here."

The woman's face paled, "Well…I…uh…"

Dean snickered.

"As to why he's here, Mrs Haruno. Well that's simple. I told them to come visit me at this time."

"WHAT! You can't do that! These meetings are private and no outsider is allowed! Send them out now, I dem-"

"Mrs Haruno?" asked the Hokage brightly, an innocent expression on his face.

"What?" she shrieked.

The Hokage's face darkened and Killing Intent flared through the air making most of the shinobi freeze in their seats and the civilians piss themselves. Naruto sat there grinning at their facial expressions. "Shut up."

Lucifer snickered and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'I like this one.'

The Killing Intent let up abruptly and Hiruzen turned to Naruto. "Naruto,"

"Hmmm?" the small boy turned to him, a bored expression on his face.

"Did you do this to Mrs Haruno and her daughter?"

Naruto paused for a few moments, stroking an invisible beard and looking as though he was deep in contemplation about the wonders of the universe.

"Yep, pretty sure I did!" He declared cheerfully. Gabriel snorted and Dean started sniggering.

Haruno opened her mouth to begin shrieking again but there was another flare of KI even though the Hokage was facing Naruto with a bright smile. "Speak again Haruno and I'll have you kicked off the council."

The woman shrank back in her seat, more scared from the KI than losing her seat on the council, believing that nothing the Hokage could do would remove her.

"Why would you do that Naruto? Remember we talked about how playing tricks on other people is not a nice thing to do."

The little boy crossed his arms and pouted, "But the two of them sound so much like banshees that I thought they should be dressed like ones so that people who'd never met them before would have their eardrums saved. It was for the good of other people." He whined, turning his face towards the rest of the council for the first time, expression that of someone working for the good of the world only to be unfairly thwarted.

"Naruto." The Hokage's tone was warning.

The little boy deflated with a huff and leaned back pouting even more. "Okay fine. I don't like the way she or her banshee daughter who hits me every day just for walking past her screech at me for existing and I wanted to get them back, _alright_?"

Hiruzen patted Naruto on the head. "Good boy Naruto." He said absentmindedly, ignoring Naruto's snarl and swat at his hand.

"Did you hear that? The demon admits-"

"I believe I said that if you talked one more time I would have you kicked out of the council."

Haruno scoffed, "You can't do that to me, we won't let you!" She declared to approval of the other civilians.

She let out a choked gasp as a ridiculously powerful KI flooded the room, the Hokage stalked towards her with a dark gleam in his eye.

"'You won't let me? YOU WON'T LET ME?'_ I _am the Hokage of this village not you Haruno! You civilians are here for the convenience of the shinobi only. We can kick you out any time we went to because as one of these men pointed out to me last night, the shinobi control the village and I control the shinobi. My qualifications for running this village have nothing to do with smooth talking and a fancy certificate saying I studied politics in school, _my_ qualifications come from living through two Shinobi wars, training some of the most powerful warriors in our world, having knowledge on almost every jutsu that can be performed and being a powerful shinobi that is very capable of killing any human in this room, understand? Despite letting you have a council, this is _not_ a democracy, it is a dictatorship. Which means that I don't _have_ to let you come and have your say about any matters in the village but I do. However, your weak little minds seem to think for some reason that this means you have power and the right to do whatever you want. Well guess what? The time of indulgence for the civilian council is over and whilst we've been here, I've had my shinobi searching through your records and discovered all sorts of things. Embezzlement, constant committal of criminal acts, corruption, treason and the list just goes on. All of which means that you're going to have a nice little stay with Ibiki and from the looks of it, you're lucky that your daughter's not going to be an orphan. From now on there is no Civilian Council, if there is any listening to the civilian's needs which will still happen, it will be from people _I _choose for the job. ANBU, take these corrupt _politicians _to Ibiki. He'll know what to do."

Desperate, Haruno tried her last hope. "Uchiha-sama! You can't let him do this!"

Fugaku Uchiha raised an eyebrow, he hadn't expected to be addressed but sneered at the weakling that clung to the greatness of his clan. "Why should I? Your daughter chases after my son like a no good whore trying to marry into our clan. He's come home in tears more than once because he's been so scared. And you run around trying to do the same thing to me even though I'm already _married_."

There was a moment of silence amongst those still in the council chambers as the civilians were dragged off to see a soon-to-be very happy Ibiki and his new apprentice Anko, which was broken by Naruto.

"What's a whore?" he asked, tilting his head.

There was an awkward silence and a nervous expression on each of the humans' faces.

"Uh, why do you want to know that?" asked Sam, hoping to put it down to childish curiosity.

"Well, if Sakura and her mom both act like whores, whatever they are, as well as talk like banshees; I was thinking it'd be more funny if I dressed them up as a mixture between the two next time."

There was a few seconds of silence whilst everyone contemplated this thought before the Lucifer started sniggering, several of the angels rolled their eyes, the shinobi, Hokage and Dean looked partly intrigued and partly disturbed and Gabriel glomped the startled little boy and began to do puppy eyes to a now amused Hiruzen whilst Sam shook his head in three parts amusement, two parts exasperation.

"Please let me keep him! There is so much potential here! Imagine the things I could do with this kid by the time he was twelve, your national monument wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Gabriel, I think you're scaring him." stated Sam; lifting Naruto out of the archangel's arms and taking a few steps away.

Gabriel pouted at Sam and muttered 'can look after kids better than you Sasquatch' under his breath; although Naruto was indeed watching him with wide eyes, seemingly scared to let Sam put him down in case the weird man picked him up again. He let Sam hold him despite visibly disliking the contact and watched Gabriel warily, his blue eyes now icy and hard.

"Uh, what do I do now?" asked Sam, raising an eyebrow in confusion at the small boy glaring at Gabriel.

Dean shrugged. "Save him from Gabriel?"

"Hey!"

"So, who are you people anyway?" Asked Tsume curiously.

"Well…"

YET MORE EXPLAINING LATER

"So that's what the world outside the Elemental Countries is like huh? Troublesome."

"Are you related to Shikamaru?"

"Naruto, could you please stop asking random questions?"

"That wasn't a random question. How many ducks can be put in an elevator filled with hot sauce is a random question."

"I don't think ducks would appreciate being trapped in a confined in a space filled with sauce, Naruto."

"Why would you even want to fit ducks into an elevator filled with hot sauce? It sounds rather messy."

"I know! I know! It's eleven."

"Don't be ridiculous little brother, it's twenty eight."

"Why would you two even know something like that?"

"It was a rhetorical question guys, he didn't want it answered."

"Then why did he ask it?"

"I don't know feathers, maybe because he's _six_?"

Naruto was watching the angels and two hunters arguing thoughtfully as the Hokage and the Shinobi Council watched with incredulous expressions.

"I thought it was thirty two…" He trailed off quietly.

"Wait, so that was why the elevator was filled with hot sauce and feathers! Do you know how long it took to fix that?"

"Not my problem." Naruto shrugged carelessly.

Sam looked somewhat exasperated. "You actually tried that?"

"How else was I going to find the answer? And you're right Castiel, ducks don't like hot sauce."

"If I could have us back on topic now, that would be good. Now, the reason I asked you to come here today is because I think it would be to Naruto's benefit to get away from the village. There doesn't seem to be any way to get the civilians to accept him and I can't risk his personal safety any longer. The civilians are never going to let him live in peace so I think it would be best if Naruto no longer lived here. However, the world out there is dangerous for a young child and I was wondering if you two would take care of Naruto." He indicated the two Winchesters.

Dean looked startled whilst Sam looked shocked and then thoughtful. "You mean like adoption?"

"I don't need anyone to look after me, I can do it myself!"

"Hush Naruto."

"Could we have a bit of time to think about it?"

"Feel free."

Back at the hotel, Dean and Sam were discussing exactly how adopting the kid would affect all their lives.

"Obviously, it's the best choice for the kid but what if he wants to use his abilities and can we even take care of a little kid?"

"I dunno Sam, but if anyone can understand what kinda shit he's had to deal with, it'll be us. Sure we can't understand everything but we know what it's like to be different and to have to deal with a bunch of crap that no-one else could understand."

"You have a point. Would we stay with Bobby? I mean, moving from motel to motel isn't exactly all that great for the development of a kid or their education."

"Bobby would be cool with it."

"He'd call us idjits and tell us he'll shoot us if we do something like that without telling him ever again."

"Yeah, he'd be cool with it."

"What about if his tenant starts acting up, could we deal with that?"

"You guys don't have to worry so much, you know. It's pretty much guaranteed that most of us will be popping in to mess with you two every now and then. If you're having any problems we can deal with them, if we feel like it."

"Thanks Gabriel. That's so considerate."

"No problem Sasquatch."

"Why are you in here? You didn't blow something up again, did you?"

"Pfft, no. Do you think I'm so unoriginal as to do the same prank twice?"

"What did you do?"

"That's a secret."

There was a wail in the far off distance seeming to come from Hokage Tower. "Gabriel! I'm going to kill yoouuuuu!"

Sam sighed in exasperation as Dean began to bug Gabriel as to exactly what he did.

**Meanwhile in Naruto's apartment**

"Stupid jiji, I don't need no freaking guardians to keep me safe, I can take care of myself." He clambered up onto the windowsill and stared up at the stars. _'And anyway, if they take me away I can't attend the Academy when I'm eight and prove all these guys wrong! No, no way am I leaving. I'm going to piss off everyone that told me I will amount to nothing.' _

The next day, Sam and Dean were treated to the sight of a fuming Hokage. For his health, the angels had agreed to try and keep Gabriel out of trouble and not give the council or Hokage a reason to try and use holy fire as a flamethrower on all of them.

Naruto was sitting there watching with a bright grin. Sam was instantly on guard. He hadn't known the little boy for very long but he had seen that expression on Naruto's face before. From what he could tell when it appeared, he'd played a really, _really _'good' prank or somebody was in for a miserable time.

"What's wrong?" asked Dean.

"Don't worry about it, it's not really all that important to you guys," He paused and gave a stern look to Naruto. "I _was_ planning on asking you exactly how you felt about going with these two and whether you would want to continue with entering the Academy to become a shinobi but now I'm not so sure that I will."

Naruto shrugged, looking away and pouting as he glared at the ground unrepentant. Sam had to admit that for a six year old he was scarily intelligent and independent.

Sarutobi turned back to Sam. "I know he seems a little cold and indifferent but once you get him away from the village he should warm up to you. He's a sweet boy really; he's just sulking because he doesn't want to leave."

"I'm not sulking."

"Of course not, Naruto. You _never_ sulk when you don't get your way." Sarutobi rolled his eyes.

Sam couldn't help but think that the two had a relationship that seemed more than just leader to subordinate. Watching the two bicker and Naruto forget they were in the room, Sam hoped that the child felt comfortable enough to relax and be himself around them soon.

"Anyway, I wish for you to take young Naruto with you. Obviously if it is too inconvenient for you we can come up with an alternative." Behind him, Naruto looked hopeful.

"We thought about it and decided that it couldn't hurt to take care of him although if he still wants to become a shinobi then we'll have to work something out." Sam told Sarutobi.

Dean watched Naruto's face as the blonde haired boy seemed to struggle internally with relief, indignation, hope and confusion. It made for a pretty interesting facial expression he had to admit.

"You'd let me become a shinobi?" Naruto asked surprised. He'd assumed if these guys took him then he wouldn't be allowed to fulfil his dream.

"Obviously it'd be kinda difficult but we don't wanna take your dream away from you kid."

Naruto didn't know what he should be feeling or doing. He was relieved that he could still be a shinobi, confused as to why these people wanted to take care of him, indignant that they thought he needed taking care of, hopeful that maybe he could see what was so great about families anyway and maybe a little bit interested in seeing exactly who those other strange people from before were. They felt weird, like they were two people instead of one.

"I believe that our Academy's holidays happen to occur at roughly the same time that yours do so it may be possible for us to look after him during the year as though he were at a…is the phrase 'boarding school' right?"

"Yeah, that's right. Although having seen how they treat him I'm not so sure I would like to leave him here on his own for most of the year."

"A valid concern but we have until he's eight to figure out exactly how we're going to do this."

"Still…."

Naruto sat bored as Sam and Sarutobi argued about the technicalities of how they would let Naruto attend the school in order to become a shinobi. He turned his head to look at Dean when the man tapped his shoulder.

"Fancy getting something to eat whilst these two old men argue?"

Naruto grinned.

"…that is a lot of noodles."

"Is the human body meant to be capable of containing that much food at that age?"

"…I don't think so…"

Teuchi patted Dean on the shoulder; recognising the horror struck expression of someone seeing Naruto eating noodles that they've agreed to pay for for the first time. Most didn't make that mistake again.

"Don't worry; I'll give you a discount. I can see you didn't know this was going to happen and no visitor deserves to have that inflicted on them."

"…."

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah, I just can't believe that someone let alone a kid can actual eat that much. Where does it go?"

"Nobody knows. They've had all sorts of theories for it but we haven't actually found one that works. Most people that actually see him as a person believe that because his chakra stores are so large he needs the extra carbohydrates in his body to provide for him. Or that he's a living black hole, that's also another favourite."

Balthazar looked contemplative, showing he'd been listening in on their conversation as well as poking an increasingly irritated Naruto who hadn't even stopped eating. "But why choose ramen?"

"The voice in my head told me that I should."

There was a moment of silence as Naruto continued to eat unaware of the potential disaster he had just caused.

"…..Voice in your head?"

"Yeah, the one that tells me to wear orange and play pranks and stuff. If I do really good stuff then it gives me advice and teaches me stuff."

He paused and tilted his head, listening to something they couldn't hear. "He also says that while I shouldn't have told you about him, he wants you guys to know that you," he pointed to Castiel "Are creepy and you," and then to Balthazar, "Are weird. He also says that you," and this time to Dean, "Are awesome and that you" finally he pointed to Teuchi. "You make the best ramen he's ever tasted and he wants to know if he can marry your cookbook."

"Does this guy have a name?"

"He says he's called Kurama."

"You done eating?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright just let me pay for this. You two, please keep an eye on him."

**And that's it for this chapter. I wanted to write a little bit more but I feel like this is a good place to stop. And yes, Naruto does hear the Kyuubi but nobody knows who the voice in his head actually is because he's using his actual name and yes there will be an explanation for why the kyuubi can actually talk to him but that'll come later. **

**Hopefully next chapter we'll get to see some of the chaos that has been unleashed in Konoha. Sam and Dean seem to have forgotten that they let Lucifer and Gabriel go out in the same group. And while the Angels have been restricted from smiting or killing regular people for minor reasons, there is absolutely nothing stopping them from playing pranks on them.**

**That's about it really; I finished writing this the morning after a sleepover at my friend's house where we went after her pirates and ninjas themed bday party. Yes, that's right; pirates and ninjas.**

**Anyway, catch you guys later!**


	3. Voices, Burgers and the Impala

**So, this is me continuing on with this story that people don't seem to like as much as my other one. I guess it's probably an idea that has occurred to other people as well or it just isn't as well written as my other one. Oh well, this is more of a therapeutic story for me. By the way, if anyone has any suggestions as to how Naruto can have a family with Sam and Dean whilst still attending the shinobi academy I would love to listen to them.**

**Also, whenever a Biju talks to a jinchuriki, the speech will be in bold and when they respond it will be in their thoughts because they would get locked up in an asylum if they talked aloud.**

**Disclaimer: I wish us members of the fandoms we write for owned them, can you imagine all the crossovers that would become cannon?**

* * *

When Dean, Naruto, Castiel and Balthazar left Ichiraku ramen – the angels only following out of boredom – they saw a pink anteater with green eyes scramble along the street before being chased by a snarling black wolf. When the anteater curled up in a pathetic shivering ball, the wolf turned and padded towards Naruto; looked at him contemplatively before he crouched down in a playful manner and then leapt and took a light swat at the top of Naruto's head.

Naruto looked down at the wolf and saw that it had black eyes and a navy blue collar that had the Uchiha crest dangling from it. He paused in consideration before beaming at it.

"Sasuke?" He asked, the wolf gave him an animal approximation of a grin before going back to terrorising the anteater that had tried to disappear into the streets whilst he was distracted.

"He turned a kid into a wolf?"

"A couple of kids I think, 'cause that anteater looks a lot like Sakura."

"Should we have words with Gabriel?"

"Don't worry, she's been stalking him for ages and he's wanted to get her back. You know, scare her so badly she never wants to be near him again. This might work for a while." Gabriel told them, appearing out of nowhere as was his habit.

"Ooh. How did you do that? Could I learn?" Naruto had apparently forgotten about the impromptu glomp session that had traumatised him yesterday.

Dean snorted mentally. Kids, show them something cool and you were the most amazing person in the universe.

"Where's Sasquatch?"

"He and that old man were taking too long talking so I took the squirt here to get something to eat. 'Course, this was before I knew he was a freaking trash compactor. Last time I saw someone eat that much was when Cas had that burger craving."

"You had a burger craving? When was this?"

"More importantly, why wasn't I there for it?"

"It is not of import."

"Aww, come on."

Dean was aware of slight tugging on his sleeve, he turned his attention away from the bickering angels to focus on Naruto.

"Um, what's a burger?"

"You don't know what a burger is? That's like never having had pie!"

Naruto did a Castiel-esque head tilt. "Pie?"

Dean looked like he was about to pass out or have an aneurism.

* * *

**Back at the ran-office, the Hokage's office**

"I think you'll have to come back to discuss this sometime." Sarutobi said, sighing tiredly.

"Or we could give you our cell number and you could call us."

"Cell?"

"You need to let more Americans into your country man. Next thing you know, Dean's gonna barge in here shouting-"

The door burst open revealing a frantic Dean "SAMMY! THEY DON'T HAVE BURGERS _OR_ PIE HERE!"

Sam sighed, "Exactly that."

"Sammy, you don't understand. They. Don't. Have. Pie."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I. Heard. You. The. First. Time. And don't call me Sammy."

Dean huffed. "Fine, whatever. Don't care." He sat on the chair sulking whilst Sam rolled his eyes.

"You can manage without burgers or pies for a few days, Dean."

"Blasphemy!"

Naruto shot a look at Sarutobi, begging not to have to go with them. The aged Hokage shrugged, smiling at Naruto.

* * *

"Whoa..." Naruto stared in awe at the Impala, he'd never seen anything quite like it before; the closest thing Hi no Kuni had to cars were horses.

Dean beamed proudly. It felt good to have someone appreciate his baby. Sam, much as he knew this was going to make Dean insufferable, couldn't help but smile at the wide eyed innocence of the blonde haired boy. Naruto had been exceedingly non-confrontationally aggressive during the last few days. Glowering at the two of them frequently but not doing anything about it.

They slid into the Impala, Dean happy to be back to driving. Naruto stared at the inside in awestruck wonder. He thought that maybe it would be worth being away from the Old Man and Konoha if there was stuff like this in America.

"Allright, next stop; a diner where we can feed you some real food."

Sam rolled his eyes. Dean hadn't shut up about pies and burgers since he had found out that Naruto had never even heard of either. He personally didn't see what was wrong with not knowing about pie or burgers; they weren't exactly healthy foods for anybody much less a growing child who was already suffering from malnutrition.

In the backseat, Naruto rolled his eyes at the same instant that Sam had. He wasn't too sure how he felt about Sam but he could understand and share in the tall man's exasperation. Dean was genuinely kind and well-meaning but he was a little bit grating on Naruto's nerves and Naruto found him a little bit obnoxious at times. He imagined it would get better once he was used to Dean.

Sam, by contrast, was quite calming to be around; even if he did push Naruto to talk about his feelings more than he was comfortable with. However, Naruto could put up with that for the more interesting discussions on the culture, history and general information Sam had to offer about the new country he was going to be a part of. He was less loud and willing to leave Naruto alone when he needed time to think but Naruto thought he seemed a little too quick to blame himself for things and too slow to forgive himself.

Simply put, both boys had serious issues. Not that Naruto could talk; he was well aware that he fell far out of the bounds of what society deemed stable mental state.

It would probably help if he stopped listening to the voice in his head.

"**Why would you stop listening to me? I have awesome ideas! Like that one with the glitter, fake leprechauns and superglue."**

'You mean the one that actually got me _arrested_?'

"**Yep, damn that was fun!"**

'It was kinda fun but the sitting in a police cell all night whilst Sasuke's dad yelled at me was not.'

"**Oh boohoo, you get yelled at a little. A small price to pay for such a glorious vengeance!"**

''Glorious vengeance'? All that that guy did to me was push past and insult me instead of saying sorry.'

"**And what a crime that was! That he would dare to shove my representative on earth and then insult him and by extension me! That man didn't deserve the mercy we gave him."**

Naruto sweatdropped as Kurama began to cackle madly in an over-dramatic cliché evil laugh.

'Why do you insist on doing that crappy evil laugh? It's cliché and dry.'

"**Because it wouldn't fit with my image to laugh my normal laugh. Besides, there's a reason clichés came to exist in the first place. And that reason is that they were so good the first time that people kept using them."**

'But surely if you laughed your regular, not-all-that-scary laugh that would freak people out more than the evil laugh you normally hear from people like you. I mean, I heard that the scariest and most disturbing things are normal things gone wrong or being genuinely used at the wrong time.'

"**You mean like a troll?"**

'What?'

"**Unexpected mindfuck."**

'Yeah, that's what I mean. I bet it would get a far better reaction than your maniacal evil laugh.'

"**This is why I like you better than the other ones. You're perfectly happy to go along with my plans and even give me suggestions. My last one just yelled at me to shut up all the time and called me a subhuman retarded animal frequently."**

'That's pretty harsh and kinda uncalled for. You can't help not being human.'

"**Exactly. Besides, what's so great about humanity anyway? I mean, sure you get some of those amazing ones who really change your perspective of the world but most of the time they're just arrogant irritating little monkeys who preen and present themselves as much more powerful than they actually are. Not to mention how fragile you all are. I mean, all somebody has to do is cut off the blood flow to one area and you're either dead or incapacitated. Frankly it's quite ridiculous. Not to mention the personality weaknesses too, I have seen far too many humans start out with pure ideals and get distracted by the dirty taint of the world and its pleasures."**

'I hear you. It doesn't seem like there are any pure individuals these days or if there are then they're following a misguided purpose.'

Far off, Haku sneezed, gaining the attention of Zabuza who had just taken him in.

"**Exactly. In the beginning, you were all quite impressive and it was incredibly awe-inspiring to see the pure goodness of your species but then shit happened and now we're stuck with this crapload of complete trash. You're okay because even though you go along with my ideas, we don't actually hurt people and I don't think you have any intention to either."**

'I may hate these people but I'm not going to sink to their level. I can and will be better than that.'

"**Ah, you kids grow up so fast. Although probably a little bit too fast in your case kiddo. Take my advice here Naruto. Just relax and let this happen. Don't stress yourself out so much about this and let yourself enjoy this chance at being a regular kid. This is your chance to have a semi-regular childhood. It's a second chance for you."**

'…Do you really….think that?'

"**Absolutely. You've been dealt a pretty shit hand kid and now is your chance to try and make it better for you. Also it couldn't hurt to have knowledge about this world outside the Elemental Countries or people that you can trust to have your back all the time."**

'…I guess…..'

Kurama, or as he was known to the rest of the world 'Kyuubi' or in some cases 'Oh God please don't kill me I have a wife and children at home and I didn't mean to upset you just please please don't kill m-AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH' but that name was pretty long and he didn't use it all that often, watched Naruto's mind mull over what he had said.

He hoped the kid would listen to him. He may be a demon but they didn't kill indiscriminately. That was for lesser former-human demons. The Biju were more interested in keeping the natural balance and getting usually non-lethal revenge for offences. The only time that Kurama really used lethal force was for the really unforgivable crimes like rape or the murder of innocents. At least when he was in control of his body that is. About 90% of the 'atrocities' he had committed had in fact come about because he was under the control of someone who abused that power.

Hopefully he would be able to catch a bit of a break with this kid he was grooming to be a true representative of him. Who knows, maybe when people found out he was the kid's main influence opinions would change about him and the other Biju. It was worth being trapped for that hope.

**Slightly different interpretation of the Biju here. I just think it would be interesting to follow the idea that they are not pure evil. Incredibly self-serving and in some cases arrogant but those are traits that humans can have as well.**

**Sorry it's slightly shorter than the other chapters but the main focus of this chapter was getting Naruto leaving his home country and the type of conversations that he and the Kyuubi have in their day to day life.**

**It's a pretty symbiotic relationship as you can see and the Kyuubi is influencing Naruto subtly to be more like him in the hopes that if people find out the similarities between them then it might make life a bit easier for the both of them.**

**Kyuubi also genuinely likes Naruto. Mainly because out of the three jinchuriki he's had, Naruto is the only one that goes along with his ideas, gives him suggestions, lends him an ear whenever he needs to talk, genuinely cares about him and his wellbeing and treats him fairly without judgement. He extends that favour in return to Naruto.**

**That's about it I think. Until my next update.**


End file.
